How to Overcome Your Flight Anxiety
A guide to staying grounded, even when you’re 35,000 feet in the air
Every time I take a flight, I ponder if it will be my last. The mere walk through the stuffy corridor to the aircraft speeds up my heartbeat, and it takes everything in me to politely smile and greet the flight attendants as I board. I hold my breath while I make my way through the cramped aisles to my assigned seat, and the moment I’m strapped in, my body begins to vibrate, legs bobbing up and down, sweat gathering at my hairline.
I used to think I was alone in these feelings, but it turns out that aerophobia, a fear of flying, affects more than 25 million adults in the United States — and it’s particularly common after major plane crashes. In the aftermath of 9/11, Americans avoided flying, opting for road trips whenever possible. Now, in the wake of two tragic incidents — a plane collision over the Potomac River that resulted in the death of 67 passengers and a medevac jet crash in Philadelphia — people are once again feeling apprehensive about flying.
There are plenty of ways you can soothe and even overcome your flight anxiety. To get some tips, we spoke with Dr. Rebecca Skolnick, a clinical psychologist specializing in aerophobia and the co-founder of Mindwell NYC, a therapy practice based in New York City.
Understand why people experience flight anxiety
There isn’t one, specific cause of aerophobia. For some, severe turbulence is enough to kickstart a fear of flying. Others may feel suffocated spending long periods of time in an airplane’s tight spaces, triggering their claustrophobia. Sometimes, the inherent lack of control that comes with flying, as it requires you to relinquish your power or agency to someone else, can make the experience feel unpredictable and trigger passengers’ anxiety or other symptoms attributed to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
Regardless of the triggers or symptoms, the fear is completely valid. “It’s scary to be up in the sky. We’re humans, we’re supposed to be on Earth with our feet on the ground [...] it’s not natural,” Dr. Skolnick says. “But people come to me because they want to be able to fly — maybe it’s to travel, or for work, or an important part of their relationship. There’s some sort of motivation to work on making flying more comfortable.”
Talk to a pilot
Yes, you read that right. Through the service Dial A Pilot, you can schedule a 15-minute phone call with an actual, professional pilot for $50, during which you can ask questions and express any concerns you have about flying. The pilot will talk you through your specific flight plan, explaining everything from takeoff to the weather along the route and any possible turbulence it might cause.
Make a game plan
The worst thing a nervous flier can do is show up unprepared and empty-handed. Fiddling with the in-flight entertainment will likely feed the tangle of uncertainty writhing in the pit of your stomach, so look up your airline’s movie and TV selections before boarding to choose something to watch before boarding. Or, pack self-contained supplies that aren’t wifi-dependent, like a laptop pre-loaded with your favorite media, a book, or an immersive, tactile craft like a knitting project so you know how you’ll occupy your time. Basically, anything helps. “[Have] stuff to do so [you’re] not just sitting there waiting for something bad to happen,” Skolnick says.
Use your senses
Whether it’s by squeezing a stress ball, wearing lavender-scented lotion, or simply looking at happy pictures on your phone, employing your senses can help you stay grounded, even when you’re 35,000 feet up in the air. Skolnick recommends performing progressive muscle relaxation in your seat, an exercise used by athletes, insomniacs, and even cancer patients, that consists of tensing your muscle groups while taking deep breaths, then releasing and relaxing. Along with progressive muscle relaxation, structured meditations are also helpful; Skolnick’s favorite meditation app Insight Timer offers free guided meditations specifically tailored for aerophobia.
Remember the facts
For the more analytically minded, focusing on actual flight safety statistics can ease the mental spiral. Although this data isn’t meant to invalidate or erase those uncomfortable feelings, having concrete information to contextualize the emotions can help ease the intellectual and emotional burden. Here are some facts and figures that might make you feel a little more at peace:
- The average American’s chance of dying in a plane crash is about one in 11 million, way safer than the risk of being killed in a car accident, which is about one in 5,000.
- Airline travel is actually becoming more and more reliable; passengers are about 39 times safer than they were in the 1970s, according to a study by MIT.
- Your pilot has undergone 1,500 hours of flight time to operate a commercial plane, in addition to other requirements, like frequent medical exams evaluating their physical and psychological health.
Put things into context
Whether you’re traveling to visit loved ones, attending a work conference, or simply going on a vacation, it’s important to remember why you are flying so you can focus on the positive feelings and experiences waiting for you upon landing. “Ask yourself, ‘What is likely to happen?’ Think about the best- and worst-case scenarios, and how you will handle them. Remind yourself why you’re on the plane to begin with and what your motivation is,” Dr. Skolnick says.
There’s always therapy
If your flight anxiety becomes so unmanageable that you can’t bear to get on the plane or step foot in an airport, seeking professional help is a great option. There are wide ranges of medical practices, types of therapies, and treatment approaches. At MindWell NYC, therapists treat patients’ aerophobia with virtual reality exposure therapy. Controlled by the therapist, the VR technology simulates all aspects of air travel, including the idle experience of being at the airport, boarding the plane, takeoff, turbulence, and landing. Patients usually only need six to 10 sessions, which culminate in clients booking an actual flight to face their fear head-on.
Remember you’re not flying solo
If there’s a silver lining to our collective flight anxiety, it’s the many ways that we’re all coming together to support each other in our own ways. Earlier this month, a pilot’s touching speech reassuring his passengers that their comfort and safety were his top priorities went viral. Scroll through the subreddit r/Fearofflying, and you’ll find users posting their flight IDs asking fellow aerophobes to track them to make sure they landed at their destination, like friends sending little notes ensuring they made it home safely after a night out. In each of these examples, neither the pilot, passenger, or airport/airline staff could control their circumstances, but a little communication and a dose of compassion for themselves and the people around them made all the difference.